Is It Me, Or Me?
by Onyx Panthera
Summary: Oneshot. Female Revan confronts Canderous after the crew finds out that she, is in fact, Revan.


**Author's Note: **_Okay, this is my first Revan/Canderous so don't expect much. I tried to keep Canderous in character, but I've not played the game in such a long time, so I'm sorry if he's off. _

Please Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own StarWars; StarWars: Knights of the Old Republic I or II; I do not own Revan, Carth Onasi, or Canderous Ordo. Or anything related to.

**Claimer:** Valla Trinner is my character I made up and is just being set in Revan's place.

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Is It Me, Or Me?

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_**Character**: Valla Trinner (Revan); Female; Jedi Rank: Guardian; Double-bladed Lighsaber_

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_**Ebon Hawk**_

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Revan Valla Trinner walked into the Cargo Hold hesitantly. She'd been dreading this moment since she found out who she really was. Or, what her past held, because she hadn't always been _Darth Revan_. Confrontations with people she cared about were always hard for her. As her memories flooded back to the forefront of her mind some came in the form of dreams. Bad dreams and nightmares. One in particular was still haunting her now. Revan shook her head. No time for memories right now.

Canderous, in the middle of checking and rechecking his ammo, didn't hear her walk in. He sat on a stool in front of several durasteel crates and lockers, his back turned to her. Several pistols and a Vibroblade or two were scattered before him. Currently, he was holding his custom blaster rifle. Canderous was just about to recheck it, when Revan spoke.

"Canderous, do you have a minute?"

Something in her voice must've alerted some alarm because he turned around to face her so fast he could have been ailed with whiplash.

"What happened? Did Onasi do something?" The hard edge in his voice sounded dangerous and his eyes were narrowed.

Carth had taken it pretty hard. He wouldn't speak to her for several days. After that, he apologized and told her his hatred and hurt died with Saul Karath. She forgave him of course, the whole mess couldn't be easy for him, she knew. Carth had had a wife, who died on Telos when it was attacked. And a son, who was just barely saved from the dark side with her help. No, she couldn't –wouldn't – blame him for freaking out. Revan would never hold it against him either.

Although, since that time, Carth and Canderous have been at odds with each other – far exceeding normal behavior. Revan was slightly worried about it and since she didn't know why they were acting this way, she couldn't get them to stop. She narrowed her eyes. If it continued, she'd demand to know what was going on, after all, she could be _very_ persuasive.

"No. Carth didn't do anything. Everything is okay – relatively. I just wanted to –"

"What's on your mind, Revan?" Canderous visibly relaxed when Revan reported no incidents.

For a moment Revan wanted to scream at the top of her lungs –"That's not my name! I'm Valla! Valla Trinner!" – but she bit her tongue and let it pass. Truthfully, the "Valla" she was now, was –is– probably a more mature version of the "Revan" before – when she was younger. She was Revan but not _**Darth**_ Revan anymore.

"Why do you call me that?" Revan queried annoyed.

Canderous raised a brow. "Call you what?"

"Revan."

Canderous gave Revan a funny look. "That's your name."

Revan nodded. "Yes but, do you call me Revan just because it's my name? Or do you call me "Revan" because that's who you want me to be?"

"What?" Canderous inquired gruffly and stood. Revan didn't know what the action meant or signaled.

Doing her best not to fidget she explained. "I'm not "Revan Conqueror and Destroyer of – Worlds… of life"! I don't live for the fight or take pleasure for the battle. I want peace and to live in peace. I won't ever be _**that**_… _Darth Revan_ ever again. _**Ever**_."

Now Revan really tried to quench the urge to fidget. She was nervous which would have been silly, if this wasn't so important to her. Canderous and Revan shared many interests but they did have different views of life. Sometimes clashing views. Did he just like her because she was Darth Revan? One of the most powerful Dark Lords in history? Or did Canderous like her, the woman who fought side by side with him and her crew? Who fought for good now permanently and wouldn't change for the universe?

Canderous studied Revan hard. She stood tall and confident. Her orange-red hair tied in the warrior style knot. Her deep vibrant red eyes were trained on his, piercing him through. He could see a small amount of fear in those beautiful eyes, yet she didn't quiver or waver. She was strong, tough and hardcore. A warrior of color.

"Revan I respect you for who you are. From what I've seen and been through with you. Not what you've done in your past. Darth Revan was just a… plus." He stopped and eyed her. "It doesn't define you. When I look back at what I know about Darth Revan and You as separate, I know it doesn't define you."

Revan looked Canderous in the eyes. "Do you mean it?"

"Yes."

Revan smiled. "Good," she paused, "now for the other matter."

Canderous is handsome, tough and agile – he's a warrior, it's expected. His character is rather blunt and mostly simple. Sometimes he was harsh, but he could be charming and kind. Throughout their journey together there had been words, laughter and simple touches. They had chemistry.

Oh, yeah. And she loved him.

"Excuse me?"

"Well it has come to my attention that you have too much free time, Mr. Ordo."

"Yeah? And just what do you plan to do about it?" Canderous inquired certainly hoping he knew where this conversation was going.

Revan walked up to him. "This." Then she was kissing him. Her hands gently holding his face to hers. Canderous kissed back, wrapping his arms around her slender, yet voluptuous frame. Slowly, Revan allowed her arms to gently rest around his neck.

"Mmm." She moaned softly as they separated.

"I thought you were a Jedi?" Canderous questioned the implications clear.

"Force Sensitive, I threw the whole "No relationships" rule out the airlock." She kissed him again. "'Side's it's not like I've not done it before."

"You gunna share?"

"I'll tell you all about it later, Canderous." She kissed him again. And again and again.

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Review if you like, feedback will help me improve my writing.

Ps: Hope you enjoyed my story!

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Onyx Panthera


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